Two Sunspots
by Trilby1992
Summary: This is a songfic where I put myself into the Digital World and I end up getting some of the DigiDestined girls there. Includes swearing; lots of sexual stuff; and surreal humour.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is a songfic where I put myself into the Digital World and I end up getting some of the DigiDestined girls there. Includes lots of swearing, sexual stuff, and lots of farce.

The only reason why I'm calling this a songfic is because all of the chapter names are named after songs.

Disclaimer: Digimon is owned by your anus and The Stranglers and made a pretty good album called Feline.

**Chapter 1: Midnight Summer Dream**

It was a dark and stormy morning. Trilby decided to spend the whole evening writing a crappy fan fiction rather than writing code for his shit computer game. His bedroom was cold, probably the coldest in May. Trilby felt like turning the gas heating on but he didn't want to risk, raising the total sum of his gas bill. Eventually, snow started to twinkle down the shithole he lives in but Trilby was too engrossed in his story to notice. "Brrrr I better start putting on my Trilby hat." The pathetic writer grabbed one of his trilby hat and wore it on his head. "Actually I should get my sweater out!" He said to himself. "No Trilby, I should wear a jacket instead." he said, in a lower pitch. Trilby grabbed his jacket from his wardrobe and wore it. Then, shortly after, 3 knocks on his apartment door could be heard. He went up to the door and opened it straight away without checking the peephole as he was too lazy to check through it. A horse was behind that door. "Excuse me sir, you look like a sausage connoisseur, can I interest you in some fine willies?" The horse opened his case of fresh meat. Trilby looked down at the opened case in disgust. "I'm sorry I'm a vegetarian." He lied. "Are you sure? You can't get better genitals than this. They contain no horsemeat whatsoever!" Trilby took another look at the briefcase. "No thank you, you fine gentlemen. I believe Ernie next door would like to have some." He again lied. His neighbour wasn't called Ernie, his neighbour was called Beatrice. "Ah thank you for your precious time, I will no longer waste anymore of your fine evening, going on and on and on and on and on and on and on about my lovely, delicious-" THUMP! Trilby slammed the door closed before the saleshorse could finish his sentence. With a big sigh, he resumed his writing. Gradually, he couldn't keep his eyelids open while a heavy snowstorm was brewing outside. "Trilby!" An elderly voice shouted his name. He turned to find an old man , with a large, grey moustache and crappy hair, rocking back and forth in his rocking chair.

"Who are you?"

"Why does it matter?"

"It matters because you're a stranger."

"Why should you care? I may have only 1 or 2 years left in me."

"Then perhaps you might want to do something meaningful."

"Meaningful? Like what?"

Trilby pondered for a bit.

"Go fishing?"

"Come over here boy, and I'll tell you what's meaningful."

The elderly man appeared to be harmless so he obliged. The old man was about to whisper something to Trilby's ear but then the sound of an alarm clock completely interrupted it. Pretty much the whole surrounding was interrupted by the annoying ringing sound. Trilby quickly thumped the alarm clock off with his right hand and opened his eyes. The sand on the ground was being touched by the palm of his hand and also, something sticky. He looked at his hand and noticed the sand were covered in some sort of black, sticky substance. He got up spritely, to observe more of his surrounding. The whole place was black and blue. Only the sound of the dark blue waves crashing in and out could be heard. He wasn't afraid. No, he wasn't afraid at all. He was in fact, smiling, relishing the escape that fate provided him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: It's A Small World**

"Good thing I brought a jacket." Trilby said to himself. His jacket was also blue, but a bit lighter than his surroundings. It didn't keep him warm however and he was starting to feel the coldness of the area. "Brrr I need to find a place to stay." Trilby looked around to see if there were any fast food restaurant around. He kept blowing and rubbing his hands together to keep his hands warm. Shortly afterwards, he spotted a moustachioed Scubamon in the water, dressed up like a french waiter, and holding a plate full of treats and desserts. The waiter casually strolled through the waves, while keeping the plate in balance. Without any word, he offered his plate to Trilby. From a distance, the plate appeared to contain some delicious-looking desserts but on closer inspection, it was all mangled ice creams and tomato slices. Trilby refused the offering but the Scubamon insisted on it. The Digimon grabbed one of the tomato slice, soaked in vanilla ice cream, and attempted to shove it into Trilby's mouth. Trilby kept dodging it until he tripped on a bar of soap on the floor and fell on his back. Now, there is nothing stopping from the Scubamon to insert the tomato slice into Trilby's mouth. He very, very slowly advanced his tomato peel into the mouth of the young boy. "STOP!" Shouted a feminine voice. That voice came from a young girl called Kari, and beside her was Gatomon. Scubamon ignored the Digidestined and continued his very, very slow movement. "Get him Gatomon!" Gatomon nodded and jumped forward to the Scubamon. Moments before her claws would make contact, a double-decker bus suddenly fell onto the Scubamon. Gatomon was puzzled. "That'll do... I guess." Said the confused cat Digimon.

"Do you know a good place to stay?" Trilby asked. Kari nodded with a smile and offered her hand to him. He held her hand and was being pulled up. "Come with me." Kari guided Trilby to a newborn portal. "Don't be scared, come on." Kari stepped in first while holding Trilby's hand. Gatomon jumped right in while Trilby was still hesitating. Trilby was slowly, making his way to the event horizon until his left foot stepped on an ice-cream spill, and plunged himself forward into the portal, faster than intended.

Moments later, he fell into a colourful garden, alone. His trilby hat soon followed. The garden was much warmer, and brighter, but not a soul nearby. He started walking to a direction he picked at random. "Psst". Trilby looked to the direction of a forest. "You look like a hungry fellow. Would you like to come to my diner?" Said a person who resembles an egg with dinosaur legs supporting it. "Oh sure. I may as well" Trilby replied enthusiastically. He followed the egg man through the colourful foliage until they reached a quaint looking diner.

"Here we are! I've been told they'll come in a minute." The egg man informed.

"Who?" Trilby asked.

"The DigiDestined. They've been expecting you."

"Who are the Digidestined?"

"What do you mean who are the DigiDestined!? Haven't Gennai told you yet?"

"Who the fuck is Gennai!?"

"Oh boy! Don't tell me you haven't met Gennai yet?"

"Seriously, I don't know who he is? And why am I here?"

"Oh no. oh noooooooooo! My... my head. I can't take this pressure anymore. AaaAhhhhhhh"

The eggman's quickly inflated before he exploded. The furnitures in the diner were now covered in raw eggs. Just as Trilby cleaned himself with his hands, Tai entered into the room.

"What the? What the hell happened here!?"

"Well... this eggman blew up."

"Y-you mean Digitamon?"

"Oh is that his name?"

"Yeah! And you killed him!"

"Eh? No no, h-h-h-he got anxious a-a-a-a aaaah I'm gonna blow!"

Tai shielded himself from the potential impact but nothing happened. "Well... too bad I'm not an egg." Trilby remarked. "You maniac! Wait until I ram my fist into your stomach!" Tai plunged forward but was quickly grappled by Matt who had just entered through the door behind him. "Easy there, he probably just blew up again." Tai let in a deep breath and then breathed out to calm himself.

"Hi there. I'm Tai and this is Matt." He said, much more happily.s

"Hello there. I call myself Trilby sometimes."

"Well hi there Trilby. We have been talking about you."

"Really? Erm.. Is that eggy guy... dead?"

"Oh no, I'm sure he'll appear in Primary Village as an egg.. or as a chicken." Tai thought for a bit over that dilemma. He then had something to ask Matt.

"Hey Matt, when's Sora coming?" That question rattled Matt for some reason.

Meanwhile, in the bushes not far from the restaurant actually, Sora and TK were 'fighting'. "Ow" TK held his gut. "Ooops. Was that too hard?" Sora asked, worriedly. "Only a tiny little bit." TK replied with his patented smile. Seriously, the last time someone tried to pull off one of TK's smile, he got sued and then beaten up. Anyway, it was TK's turn to hit Sora. He clenched his right fist, and punched her in the gut. "AH!" Sora yelled. Her high-pitched voice, turned the blonde Digidestined on.

"Erm..TK. How long is this foreplay thing going to take?" Patamon innocently asked. "Well, I'd say...It's finished." TK jumped right into Sora. His private part swiftly slipped into the correct hole.

"I don't understand why we have to watch all this." Biyomon said. "I told you already..." Sora replied in between the kisses. "...it's how I can get...in the mood...to do what I'm doing right now."

"THEY'RE HAVING WHAT!?" Tai exploded. Matt couldn't get a word out after seeing Tai's face redder than chilli.

"I can't believe that pipsqueak is doing that to me!"

"Tai. Hold on! We could talk this out like gay- I mean grown men." Matt looked down to the ground and sighed after he botched his speech.

Tai let off a short snigger. "There is no use trying to make me laugh now. I'm going to murder your little brother!" Tai stormed out of the diner.

Normally, Matt would stop Tai, and probably would give him a good wrestle, but deep inside, he was equally disgusted with his little brother, TK.

Moments before the couple would get interrupted, TK was sniffing round Sora's neck. Sora giggled and decided to take control, sniffing TK's face.

"YOU DIRTBAGS!" Tai yelled while standing next to them. All urges were evaporated. "Erm... Tai" Sora was breathing heavily in fright. "We can explain..."

"You better give me a good one."


End file.
